It’s been some time since I last posted but I have been going through some health stuff.

I was recently admitted to hospital for an emergency Gall Bladder removal, there is a technical name for it but essentially this is what was done.  I spent 12 days in hospital due to complications and when they finally let me out I now have to live with Acute Pancreatitis.

What does that mean?  Initially I was freaking out because everything I could find on the net was really extreme, lots of raw veg and no alcohol.  The prospect of living the rest of my life as a teetotal vegan wasn’t very appealing!  Don’t get me wrong I love veges but no meat, chicken or fish and never to have another glass of wine, well sorry but life just didn’t seem worth it!

Apart from that, the Doctor told me and I quote “You came as close to death and you would ever want to get”!  And funny, every time I say that in my head I get that song “Lover you don’t treat me no good no more” going round and round, not relevant I know but there’s a line that goes, “she looks as lovely as shes ever gonna get” .

Humour aside, I feel a great deal of guilt, my GP sent me for an ultrasound about 12 months ago and I never got around to it.  I probably would have needed to have my GB removed but not as dramatically.  I’ve had 12 days to think about my mortality and now find myself going through a crisis.

What if I had died, nothing was prepared, no will nothing.  I would have been leaving my  hubby, daughter and son a whole heap of hassles.  My four year old son would grow up without and mummy, my grown daughter would have to make her way by herself and hubby, well I don’t even want to go there!

Bright side:  I now have a second chance… What will I do about it?  What do I want to do about it?

First on the agenda, do my will!  Second change my diet, see a dietitian, I just don’t believe my food choices could be this bleak.  My GP said low fat, I can deal with that but nothing about alcohol.

Alcohol:  is it really such a big deal?  No not on a day to day basis but when most of your socialising revolves around food, bbqs and having a drinkypoo with friends, it can be difficult!  I’ve managed to get past most of my triggers, a glass of wine while cooking etc but do I really want to go to a bbq with friends and not drink?  Most people initially think this is no problem but try being in the room where everyone is drinking and you’re not, you never get the same vibe as them and end up feeling left out, I’d rather not go.  Yes this is mindset but not one I will be able to get over easily. Can I have an occasional wine and not end up in hospital?

Lastly I am not happy in my life I have been drifting for the most part for a long time. Working to pay the mortgage and bills, nothing left for anything else.  This is going to change as well.  For the last 12 months I have been on a backyard farming experiment and I love it.  So we will be looking to sell up and get some land, live simply and mortgage free (if possible).

I hope you don’t mind the lack of pictures but I didn’t think you would like to see my innards :-) Yes my doc took pics!

 

 

 

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